Like many of my talks recently, this one started on twitter. And a couple months ago, I traveled to Boston to give this talk at DevReach 2022. Two months later, I am finally writing it out as a blog post to share! Thanks so much to the organizers at DevReach for inviting me to speak, and to all my friends and coworkers who let me rant about resilience for several months while I was researching for this.
This is really brilliant, with wide applications. It made me think of many conversations I’ve had — and continue to have — about people planning their families. At some point you have to weigh whether the pursuit of a certain configuration of family, particularly where fertility or loss is concerned, is going to negatively impact your long-term resilience — your ability to respond to the needs of the family you already have.
“When you imagine a certain future and that vision is your motivation, any other possibilities feel like failure, loss, consolations. But then, by choice or circumstance the future has to be different. It’s empowering to discover new possibilities and opportunities that also lead to happiness. Different, but not less.”
This is really brilliant, with wide applications. It made me think of many conversations I’ve had — and continue to have — about people planning their families. At some point you have to weigh whether the pursuit of a certain configuration of family, particularly where fertility or loss is concerned, is going to negatively impact your long-term resilience — your ability to respond to the needs of the family you already have.
In particular it made me think of this interview:
https://ryanroseweaver.substack.com/p/exit-interviews-jess-van-wyen-reproductive
And of this bit by Jess Van Wyen:
“When you imagine a certain future and that vision is your motivation, any other possibilities feel like failure, loss, consolations. But then, by choice or circumstance the future has to be different. It’s empowering to discover new possibilities and opportunities that also lead to happiness. Different, but not less.”